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THE 11TH DOCTOR WHO: the Secret Adventures is written by Bloxx and Issue 1 was published on March 10, 2015.

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An evil force upon the TARDIS makes the control center’s lights stop shining, telling the quirky Doctor and the AUDIENCE that something is WRONG.

“BAZONGO, what’s goin’ on?” Doctors friend Gay Phistor says, while slowly undressing because sassy companion.

“It appears we’ve hit a temporal influx of Nitrosophic Pornographic Hermafuckmeintheassatron!” Doctor says.

Suddenlo the lights on the TARDOS go CRAAAAAAAZY and Doctor and Gay Phistor go spinning around to show audience that they’re in for a BUMPY RIDE! THEN THEY STOP AND THE TARDIS WORKS AGAIN AND THE LIGHTS ARE BACK ON.

“Let’s go outside,” Doctor says, fixing Bow tie.

“I don’t know, Doctor. It looks pretty danger-,” Gay Phistor begins to say before getting backhanded by Doctor as hard as he could. He stood over her, the Bow tie undone and the Doctor had an angry look on his face.

“My TURTLE, my rules,” Doctro says before smiling, pulling Gay Phistor up and fixing his Bow tie. Upon opening the door, the Doctor sees a bleeding young black man, crying for his mother, with a tree branch in his side. Gay Phistor goes to help him but the Doctor grabs her by the throat and slams her against the wall.

“THIS IS A FIXED POINT IN TIME, THIS MUST HAPPEN,” Doctor yells as he squeezes the breath out of Gay Phistor.

The Doctor lets her go and she slides down the open TORDLO doors, gasping for breath. The Doctor takes out his sonic screwdriver and points it at the man’s head, making it explode. Sighing, the Doctor mutters “Bow ties are cool.”

Later, when Gay Phistor came out of her room with bruises on her neck two hours after they continued flying throughout time and space, the Doctor was standing over a bundle of clothes.

“What’s that?” Gay Phistor asks.

“Mistakes of my past, you see, Gay Phistor, I’ve lived many lives, had many faces, and I’ve realized they all sucked. So I’m burning their clothes. It’s a metaphorical thing. It’s a Time Lord thing. I was raised on Earth. I have secret incarnations. im gay.” The Doctor says inspirational while he burn the gay clothes of the other Doctors.

“Doctor…if I may ask, who was that man that had to die?” Gay Phistor says randomly because the plot must be moved along. xD

“I don’t know.”

Gay Phistor looks amazed and she falls in love with the Docto r all over again. She then becomes overly sexual begins to unbutton the Doctor’s pants…only to find another pair. And another. And another.

“WACKY.” The Doctor says proudly.

Gay Phistor falls back laughing and is in love. ____________________________________________________________________________

Meanwhile, across the universe and then some, two gods duke it out. One god, the god of good (RTD) and the other, the god of evil (Moffat) are in a battle of the minds. RTD backs down for just a moment and Moffat the Evil God strikes him down with QUIRKY powers and the God of Good is no more. The God of Evil now has complete control over the universe. His first order of business; to fuck up Doctor Who.

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