Lee Dixon is in his natural Fag Demon state, eating rats in the sewers. Lee Dixon loves eating rats in the sewers. SuddenLEE he sees a dead body being dumped into the sewers.
"wot the fuck" Lee says inspecting the body
The body was of a sexy blonde woman, she had duct tape on her mouth and was stabbed multiple times in the vajayjay. Lee hears an "oink" before the killer leaves. Lee finds the woman hot so he rapes her corpse.
“This is what you’ve been doing with your new existence?” A voice said from the far edge of the sewer.
"WHO THE FUCK IS THERE?" Lee Dixon asks
"HI I'M BARRY SCOTT!" Barry Scott says, coming out of the shadows. "I'VE NEVER BEEN THROUGH A SEWER PIPE QUICKER!"
“HOLY SHIT, I REMEMBER YOU! IT’S BARRY SCOTT” Lee Dixon says, shoving his tail into Barry’s BERRY SAC, fatally wounding him.
"u foking wot m9" Barry Scott says dying
Moffat appears to Lee.
"GO KILL SOME PEOPLE YOU FUCKING MORON!" Moffat yells.
“Yes, Papaffat.” Leedicksinme says before teleporting topside and looking at his gay little To-Do list.
‘Find Hippo’ was number one.
“OK!” Lee says, getting some lube ready.
Lee Dixon teleports himself to CANADA where he turns into Banyourdick Cucumber again and knocks on KING HIPPO's door.
"GO AWAY I WANT TO BE ALONE!" kid yells inside.
"OPEN DOOR RETARD, IT'S ME LEE DIXON YOUR FRIEND!" Lee says
"fuck you I have autism you fucker" Hippo says opening door. "The fuck do you want I'm busy with shit, you asshole."
"I'm evil now."
"Good for you."
"I'm going on a rampage and killing everyone from FFL"
"wanna tag along?"
Lee and Hippo take off their shirt and kiss. After a sexy experience filled with chocolate lube, Lee Dixon and Hippo and planning their shit. Lee looks to Hippo.
“You’re still human, would you want me to convert you?”
“m8 I ain't into that gay porn shit you into" Hippa replies BADASS. "Who we gun kill next?"
"how bout pigpen he's such a douchebag" hippa says "besides he's been raping and killing women that refuses to date him, we'd be helping society :D"
"ye I guess"
"I LOVE SUPER SMASH BROS. IT'S FREAKING TRUE!"
Moffat appears, sp00king Hippa. Moffat points two fingers at Hippo and he disappears momentarily before reassembling with black dust and then Moffat is gone again.
“what the fuck”
"No I did not hit her, that's not true, that's BULLSHIT I did not hit her! I did NOT! Oh hey Hippa" Tommy Wiseau says walking inside
Hippa kills Tommy Wiseau.
Rest in pepperonies.
"Let's get us some BACON" Lee says
Lee Dick-ton and Hipsta get to Pigpenis' house. When they arrive, they see that Pigpenis is assaulting Narutorulez again.
"Pigpen why do you hate me so much?" Naruto asks sad face crying
"Because of the… Okay that's a nice one, Tommy" pig says
Pigpen goes savage and turns into the wolfman. He grabs Naruto by his ass and rips him in two.
"I saw gunfight in Haiti, they all carried AKs" Naruto says, dying.
Lee remembered the task at hand. He was ready to grab a knife, and fuck up Pig’s lips. I what Hipsta told him, is that she told Pig to kindly go fuck himself, but he fucked her right in the pussy without her consent. Lee grabbed his knife, and my gun, and went downstairs.
“Oh, hey Lee. How are you doing?” Pig asked, trying to act casual, and cross his fingers that Lee didn’t know that he fucking assaulted his fiancée yesterday. Lee stepped right up into his face, and hit him in the temple with the back of his hand so hard that he fell to the ground, not unconscious yet.
“What the hell, dude?!” Pig shouted.
“Don’t think Hipsta hasn’t told me that you fucking assaulted her.” Lee snapped, grabbing him by the shirt collar.
“I’m sorry, but she was asking for it by being a little hottie with her Patrick Star head.” He said, as if that fucking justified it.
"I'm going to hurt you so bad…" Lee smiles creepy
"Hey Lee, I know you may not necessarily like me, but can you not hit me on the fucking face all the time?" Pig asks pussy
“Okay, where the fuck are we going?” Hippa ask like the mentally retarded kid he is
"We ain't going anywhere, you idiot" Lee says
"But there is NO TIME LEFT, the issue is almost over, Lee!" Hippa says
"I'M MAKIN' TIME" Lee grabs crowbar out of his ass
Lee hits Pig in the face with a series of blows.
"Listen I understand you and I are far from friends but one or two hits on the face is fine, hell three are okay but an entire series of blows just really hurts me" Pig cries
"SHUT THE FUCK UP" Lee Dixon yells "DO YOU THINK I WILL JUST STOP HITTING YOU BECAUSE YOU ASKED ME SO?"
"I NEVER FUCKING SAID THAT ASSHOLE" Pig yells
"Well, you were laughing your ass off about this five minutes ago. Now you're mad? Make up your mind m8. Also I kill all users not just you." Lee says
“WAIT!” Pig cries, on the floor, dying.
“WHY THE FUCK SHOULD I?” CrazeLEE say.
Hipsta is jerking off. He cums so hard he accidentally kills Ainsley Harriot. RIP buddy :'(
“I know where the FFL base is! They were making fun of me so I removed them from my friendslist and I left!” Pig screams.
"I DON'T BELIEVE IN YOU!" Lee yells
"I DO THOUGH, IT'S TROO!"
"See, now that's a lie. You're a lying sack of shit and I'm tired of it. Teach him all the way, Lee" Hippa says
"really……………………………………………… that's depressing…" Pig says
“i believe him” hippo says.
“whatever your still in lowercaps” lee say
“I said, I believe him.” Hippo says, all caps and everything so you know he means BUSINESS.
"2 BAD CUZ I DON'T" Lee says, killing Pig. He hits his face so much with the crowbar that when he's done, Pig's face looks like a complete and udder pile of dog feces.
Hipsta is shock by brutality
"The fuck you looking at, bitch? Don't act like you didn't love every second of it!" Lee yells SUPA MAD
"I don't like you anymore, Lee. You're Too Far Gone."
"Everyone that's alive now, everyone that made it this far… We've all done the worst kind of things just to STAY ALIVE! But we can still come back, we're not Too Far Gone. We get to come back. I know. We all… can change." Lee says phalusophically
"DON'T MAKE FUN OF MY DEEPLY EMOTIONAL SPEECH!" Lee gets mad again
Lee and Hippa go get ice cream with Jaden Smith
jaden gets bit by a zombee n then sucks it off
but lee shoots him
Meanwhile, in Hell, Moffat is going through files when he comes across a large, leather-bound book. Opening the book, Moffat is given a complete understanding of damnation.
“Onto page 1, then,” Moffat says, turning the page.
The words on the page read ‘the original Satan, the first devil, the true evil is Lee Dixon.”
"the fuck?" Moffat asks himself
- Lee Dixon
- Barry Scott
- Steven Moffat
- KING HIPPO
- Tommy Wiseau
- Ainsley Harriot
- Jaden Smith
- Barry Scott
- Tommy Wiseau
- Ainsley Harriot
- Jaden Smith
- Andrea's Vagina
- Negan's Balls
- Other unamed testicles
- More unamed testicles
- It is not power that corrupts but fear. Fear of losing power corrupts those who wield it and fear of the scourge of power corrupts those who are subject to it.
- PUSSY BOY DON'T WANT WAR
- Scooby Doo and the Field of Spook
- going to be honest here and say that an entire issue parodying me kinda hurts me.