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Lee swallows his cup of Scottish tea filled with cum as tears roll down his face. He takes out his father’s little pistol, which is shaped like Benedict Cumberbatch's penis and puts it to his temple. Urine came out of Lee’s kilt and onto the floor.

"Katie won't gibe me de pusi b0ss :(" Lee cries sadly as he puts the gun on his mouth and starts to giving it a sexy blowjob.

BAM! The loud noise of a gunshot is heard, and Lee's body hits the floor (LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR). Lee is dead, and no one is sad.


Lee opens his eyes to find a shitty deep screen TV playing Matt Smith Doctor Who.

“Bow Ties are cool,” Smith’s Doctor says.

Lee is sitting in a pile of cum on a leather chair. (Jam hot)

“Is this...heaven?” Lee says, looking at a naked pic of William Wallace and a blow-up doll of Sherlock lying on the floor.

“No, it really isn’t,” a creepy voice says from the corner of the room. It is the Devil himself, Steven Moffat!

“LORD!” Lee exclaims before bowing down to the shitty writer, his head frickling at the Devil's BALLS. "I got a hard penis right now." Lee Dixon says, horny.

“Rise, my creepy disciple. We’ve got work to do,” Moffat says before suddenly, Lee is in an office with many Matt Smith posters.

“Am I...dead?” Lee says.

“What the fuck, yes, you are dead,” Moffat starts. “but, would you like to come back to Earth and take your revenge on those…"

"TYPICAL.

FUCKING.

MOFFAT.

HATERS.?”

Lee looks angrily at Moffat before screaming “YES!!” and began to suck off Moffat.

After Moffat came, Lee took his seat once more and listened to Moffat’s proposal.

“I can make you into a force to be reckoned with. Something To Fear, but you must pass the test,” Moffat says.

Lee nods.

“Your bad opinions already warrant your joining the Trials of Retards. If you win, you will become your enemies’ nightmare.”

“Are you my mommy?” Lee asks.

“I prefer Moffat, but yes, I am Satan. I will grant you this power on one condition, Lee.” Moffat says, rubbing his dick. "You must never betray The Moffat, and you shall obey all my orders."

"ok"

"ALL of them"

"k"

"IF I TELL YOU TO LICK THE SWEAT OUT OF MY ROTTER'S SWEATY BALLS, YOU'LL DO IT!"

"Gladly" Lee says, licking his lips.

"(hot)"

"i kno"


Thousands of Hell years later, Lee continues on the trials. But it was actually just 21 seconds of real time, but Hell time moves slower cuz PLOT, Lee sees a man. A very sexy man. Lee sighs and walks over to him and is surprised to see it is ADOLF HITLER!

"hey babe ur hot" Lee says

"k" Hitler replies

"I like Moffat-era Doctor Who, Sherlock and even THE AMAZING SPIDER MAN 2!!!"

"Oh Mein God, I am not that evil, jew disgust me. I can't even Kampfrehend how evil you truly are. Anne Frankly, this is kinda turning me on. It's so hot Auschwitz my pants. My dick is Führious inside my pants!"

"Dude we're like totally brothers in evil we should bang and shit"

"k"

Quite some time later, Hitler and Lee were on the gun shop's bedroom and Lee was SHOVING IT IN THE VAG, suddenly they hear yelling outside. Lee gets spooked by it. As Lee tries to get up, he cummed in Hitler's pussy.

"I think I'm gonna be pregnant" Hitler says.

Suddenly, a bullet blasts through Hitler’s ass, making him scream in pain. Lee looks to the direction the bullet came from, and there he was.

The dark leader. Daniel James Stewart. The evil Beneath the Dead.

"FUCK YOU DANIEL STEWART ALL I WANTED WAS TO GET MY DICK WET AND NOW YOU SHOT ADOLF!" Lee yells, mad.

“Yours looks infected, dude.” Dan muttered, cringing. “I think you might already be wet somewhere else.”

"What do you mean?" Lee asked.

"With blood on your neck, bitch!" Dan shouted, pulling his pistol out and shooting Lee. Dan hit Lee on the peenie but Lee was already dead so he didn't die (stupid Dan >:(). "LET'S GO MY ARMY OF ROTTERS, LET'S CLAIM THE HELL TO THOSE IT BELONGS TO! THE REAL EVIL KING, ME!"

"OMG he's even more evil than Moffat" Hitler says shocked.

"You still refuse to accept my Godhood! Keep your own God! In fact, this might be a good time to pray to him, for I beheld Moffat, and he fell from heaveeeeeeeen LIKE LIGHTNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING" Dan yells at the distance.

"What are you going to do to the fucking Dan, mein love?" Hitler asks.

"WE'RE GOING TO HANG HIM" Lee says, creepy and mad.

Lee, knowing he must defeat Dan to become a demon, looks at Hitler. “Do you trust me?”

“Of course,” Hitler says, poking his finger in the hole in his ass.

“Then summon the undead souls of the Nazis. We must gangrape Dan and bring him DAYS OF SUFFERING.”

“um ok lol”

Hitler grabs his dick and out of the tip, comes Anne Frank. “So this was where you were hiding all along! Ew, I guess I gotta kill youse again.” Hitler grabs the little body and tears her apart after violently raping her.

"I don't know what any of this has to do with the story but okay." Lee says.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT STORIES"

"I AM A STORY CRITIC OKAY YOU MUST RESPECT ME BITCH NOW SUMMON THEM NAZIS AND WE'LL MAKE THE DEAD DIE, AND MOFFAT WILL HAVE THIS WORLD AGAIN! FOR SCOTTLAND! FOR FREEEEDOOOOOOOOOOM!"

Hitler swallows the remains of Frank’s soul and then a small slit on the top of his head opens and the light of a Darkstar poured out of it, resurrecting the Nazis, in uniform, with one thing in mind; kill Dan Stewart.


"Dan, I'm pregnant." Julie says, riding a demon horse by its cock because SHE'S A WHORE.

"What? How can that happen?"

"And you're not the father."

"SDHGHSKGRDJFHGFD WHAT THE FUCK?"

"The kid is Tay's. I'm sorry I couldn't help myself! He's such a charmer, so beautiful and a really better character than all of us! I'M SORRY DAN!"

"YOU FUCKING BITCH!" Dan shouted, pulling out his knife, and slicing her throat, she was spitting it up, before he slumped lifelessly to the floor. "Yeah, I'm EVIL!"

Out of fucking nowhere, the Nazis appear and there is an epic battle between the Nazis and Dan's rotter soldiers. But this won't be shown, just make it up in your mind. Use your imagination bitch, because I'm sure as hell ain't using mine. - TommieBoi.

"FOR FREEDOOOOOOOOM!" Lee shouts, stabbing Dan through the neck with a spear with the tip shaped like a dick.

"I HATE YOU LEE DIXON!" Dan says, grabbing Barack Obama's head and eating it.

"You eat people, you're insane!" Lee Dixon says, twisting the dick spear on Dan's chest.

Suddenly, Moffat appears, all the Nazis are gone, and Julie is okay again. She instantly reaches for a rotter soldier's cock and starts sucking it. “Okay, okay, okay, gentlemen, we can’t send anyone to double hell,” Moffat looks at Julie, now sucking three sticks at once. “On second thoughts, fuck you Julie, you can go to Double Hell.” Julie is dead again and disappears. "I hate whores. Especially women. They should stay in the kitchen, or in this case, DOUBLE HELL!"

Hitler rubs Lee’s moob while Lee looks back at Moffat. “Have I won?”

"Yes, my child. You have proven yourself as a true Moffat fan."

"FUCK YOU STEVEN MOFFAT YOU RUINED DOCTOR WHO, I HATE YOU!" Dan shouted.

"SILENCE!" Moffat yelled, zapping Dan to another dimension.

"Fuck you, Moffat! You smell like… a rotter's sweaty balls!" Dan cried as he was ripped through time and space.

"Lee, my child. Your training here is done. You are more powerful than you think, Lee, yes you are mmmmmf" Moffat said, grabbing his dick and rubbing his nip. "Now I shall honour my promise, and give you the power that you seek."

Moffat raises his right hand and suddenly lightning strikes. Everything turns dark and Lee Dixon is levitated. "What the fuck is going on?" he asked. Then, all of sudden, everything evil in the world materialized in front of him. Sherlock. The 11th and 12th Doctors. AMC's The Walking Dead. THE AMAZING SPIDER MAN 2. Everything turned into big black cocks and inserted itselves in Lee's anus. Lee screamed in pain, but Moffat could feel he was enjoying it.

Then, it stopped. Lee's dick has grown three sizes that day, making it 3 inches long. He felt something tear his ass apart, a tail in the shape of a dildo. Penis horns forced their way out of his face. He was the Fag Demon.

"Now, I'll take you back to Earth. Use your powers with great wisdom, Lee Dixon." Moffat says.

"Oh, I will..." Lee smiles creepily

"I'll miss you mein love" Hitler says sad.

"For you, the day Lee Dixon graced your anus was the most important day of your life. But for me... it was Tuesday." Lee says.

"What the fuck are you talking about, Lee?" Hitler asks, sad.

“idk, rape frank more for me, fucking retard,” lee say

Moffat opened a portal back to Earth. "Whenever you're ready." he said.

Lee looked back at Hell and saw all the friends he had made there. Moffat, Hitler, Michael Brown THAT FUCKING NIGGER, and then turned to the portal and grinned evilly.

"It's showtime." he said, maniacally, as he walked into the portal.

Credits Edit

  • Lee Dixon
  • Matt Smith's Doctor Who
  • Sherlock Blow-up Doll
  • Steven Moffat
  • Adolf Hitler
  • Dan Stewart
  • Anne Frank
  • Julie Kells
  • Barack Obama
  • Michael Brown

Deaths Edit

  • Lee Dixon (Alive)
  • Anne Frank
  • Julie Kells
  • Dan Stewart

Trivia Edit

  • cool beans
  • BERNIEBOOOOOOOOOOOOI
  • See, we can make a story without making fun of you, Riley >:(
  • Caulk came up with the name of the story
  • Lee, if you see this, I think you should know your life sucks and you're a giant faggot.

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