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Lee and KING HIPPO are coming down the street, groping each other's asses.

"Say what Lee, why are you killing people that made fun of you again?" Hipsta asks

"YOU SEE, HIPPO…" Lee says turning suddenLEE to Hippo "In this new life now, you kill and you die… OR YOU DIE AND YOU KILL!"

"What the fuck does that even mean you retard?" Hippa asks

Lee bitchslaps Hippo really hard

"meanie"

"k"

"made me cri"

"k"

":'("

"MAH BOI!" Moffat yells appearing to Lee.

"What the fuck do you want now, mate? I'm chilling with my fuckbuddy." Lee says, angry

"I want you to read this for me." Moffat says, showing him the book he was reading last chapter.

"That is a pretty hot picture my Lord, but why are you showing it to me?"

"(wat)"

Moffat realizes the book was actually a DevianArt portfolio of Matt Smith porn. He quickly puts it away, ashamed and embarrassed, and gets another book, really sCAREEE

"the original Satan, the first devil, the true evil is Lee Dixon" Lee reads.

"Nigga wtf that's r00d" Hippo says, kicking Moffat from the chat

"$QUAD" Hippo says

"$QUAD" Lee says

"$QUAD" arnold scorchanigger says

"$QUAD" pee wee says

"Idiots!" Moffat exclaims, coming back to chat and killing arnold and pee wee rip in peace

NO DON'T KILL PEE WEE :(

sorry he needed to die :(

"NO WHY DID YOU KILL ARNOLD AND PEE WEE THEY WERE MY FRIENDS WE GANGBANGED TOGETHER THEY WERE SUCH MAJOR AND WELL-DEVELOPED CHARACTERS, AND EVERYONE REALLY LIKED THEM!" Hippo yells

Bob

"I want to know why the fuck is this written on the book of evil, you cunt!" Moffat demands really mad

"I don't fucking know, do I?" Lee yells even more angry, sausages coming out of his kilt and onto the floor.

"Okay Moffat, calm down." Hippo says trying to calm Moffat down.

"YOU'RE THE FAG DEMON. YOU FIND OUT WHO DID THIS, AND YOU BRING THEM TO ME! YOU UNDERSTAND THAT? YOU BRING THEM TO ME!" Moffat yells super mad at Lee.

"We're going to find out…" Hippo says, trying to grab Moffat

"I NEED TO SAY IT AGAIN?" MOFFAT ANGRY

"I know what you're feeling… I've been there, you saw me there… It's dangerous...." Lee tries calm down

"SATAN DIDN'T DESERVE THIS, BEELZEBUB DIDN'T DESERVE IT… NOBODY DOES!" Moffat MAD LIKE NEVER BEFORE

"Alright man, let's get out of here..." Hippo says

"MAN I AIN'T GOING NOWHERE UNTIL I FOUND OUT WHO DID THIS" Moffat slams Hippo to the wall and grabs his dick, he applied so much pressue the dick exploded.

"We're on the same side, man..." Hipsta says weakly

"Hey, I know what you're going through… We've all been pranked...We know what you're going through right now but you gotta calm down…"

"YOU NEED TO STEP THE HELL BACK!" MOFFAT GRRRRR

"The Doctor wouldn't want you to be like that…" Lee SAYS TOO MUCH

MOFFAT GETS REALLY PISSED AND KICKS THE SHIT OUT OF LEE DICKSIN

“I CREATED THE DOCTOR, YOU SWINE.”

"Stop!" Hippo says, grabbing Moffat and restraining him

"LEGGO OF MAY!" MOFFAT DEMAND

"no"

"LEGGO OF MAY!"

"no"

Out of frustration, Moffat disappeared, making Hippo cough up a little bit of black dust. Moffat WILL understand why Lee was being called as the first Satan.

"Man what the fuck was that?" Hippo asks, spooked and still in pain now that he has no more dick.

"I don't fucking know, do I? Alright mate we should find more FFL gays to kill." Lee says, taking a minute to mourn the loss of Pee Wee and Arnold Schorchanigger. "RIP"

Lee rapes Arnold and eats Pee Wee's body. He likes it.

"Let's go!" Hippo says badass.


Lee and Hippo walk around the city, trying to find someone to kill. They come across a group of people. Four people. One of them is a sexy latino war veteran, one is a giant nazi nail file, the other is a crazy redneck with a head that is actually a dick and the final one looks like an Asian bowling ball.

The bowling ball is angry at his companions.

"Like, I don't understand why you guys have to be such cunts to me…" he says. Lee realizes that it's actually RIWEE, one of the FFL fags that made fun of him all the time! Lee gets mad.

"We caught Cirilo trying to sell us out, mein Führer." the nazi nail file says, after kissing the crazy redneck. They were called Jane and Jazzed, the outlaw incestuous siblings and Riwee's henchmen.

"Ay muchacho let me go, eh? I can give you my autograph I'm really famous, ese. I was on The Walking Dead and I went to war, I'm almost as famous as that guy, Sherlock!" Santiago Cirilo pleaded for his life

"Blasphemy!" Lee thought to himself, watching at the distance.

"Like, I would kill you for this but… I'm too lazy!" Riwee says burping

Jazzed uses Jane to stab Santiago in the asshole, killing him.

"m8" Riwee says, holding Santiago's head on his hands

"Hey boss! There are some BIG BOYS watching us from the shadows!" Jazzed pointed to Lee and Hippo

"Howdy folks!" Riwee says on Carver voice because he can do a pretty good Carver impression m8. "Well, I'll cut to the chase. I'm out here looking for my people. Seven of them to be exact. Couple of faggots and an old quickscoper, Spanish guy and his rival. Likes violent hate-sex. Big black guy, this big. And a pretty little admin called James Cameron m8"

"Riley what the fuck why did you kill Santiago Cirilo like that??" Hippo asks shocked

"Like, killing one in order to save many is like… part of survival? It's like… One of those decisions the weaker people like, couldn't make…" Riwee says badass

"I don't give a FUCK about your Birmingham bullshit, Riley. I'll show you how much Scottland is better than England!" Lee says turning into Leemon again and scaring Jazzed and Jane away

"Fucking chicken m8" Riwee tries insult

"I'm not a chicken, Riwee. YOU'RE A TURKEY!" Lee not having Riwee's shit

"I.

Will.

Fucking.

Block.

You.

m8" Riwee mad

"NO YOU'RE NOT GETTING AWAY!" Hippo yells, finally doing something.

Hippo chops off his dick and uses the blood to summon the Ogrelord, Shrek to aid him.

"WHAT ARE YE DOIN' IN MY SWAMP?" SHREK ROARS

"Hey, grab that one! He looks like a big guy!" Hippo orders

"FOR YOU!" Jazzed funny

Shrek takes out his giant ogre cock and rapes Jazzed to death. He fills his butt with his love so much the man explodes in a blast of onion cum.

Meanwhile, Hippo ambushes Jane.

"Go to hell, you buckaroo!" Jane tries stabbing Hippo with his head

"FUCK… YOU!" Hippo roars. Hippo has become as savage as Shrek. "I HAVE AUTISM YOU FUCKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!" Hippo grabs Jane by his head and breaks him in half.


Riwee walks up and squeezes Lee butt

“THAT BUTT BELONGS TO HITLER” Lee says getting really mad

Lee uses his tail to chop off Riwee's mouth, making him bleed… PIGGEH

“like, I have no mouth but I must scream m8” say Riwee

“what the fuck” any logical person ever to have existed, exists or will exists says in unison

“like, its my favorite booooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOk m8” riwee sai

"Time to die!" Lee Dixon one liners

Lee Dickles implaes Riwee with his tail, from the ass to the mouth. Riwee drops dead on the floor and Lee turns to Hippo, ho is now being raped by Shrek.

"Needed a change of name and change of pace. And like a glorious phoenix, I rise again." Riwee says, coming back to life and stealing Jazzed's quote I'M SORRY I COULDN'T FIT IN JAZZED OKAY

"wtf" Lee says

“MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTT SMMMMMIIIIITH ISSSS MY DAAADDDDY!” Screamed Leemon, killing Riwee again.

"DO I LOOK LIKE THE KIND OF GUY THAT WOULD DIE TO YOU? YESSSSsssssssss" Riwee is kill.

Lee looks back to Hippo, now being raped by his lord Shrek. Lee is happy with the blood he spilled there. He is happy with his new nature.

Hippo, Lee and Shrek go to a brothel and have a SEXY TIME with some hookers. Hot and spicy hookers. HAHA YEHAH BOY! Too bad they had peenies because Lee and Hippo are into that stuff ew I hate fags

"This is real life!" Lee says

"YEAH BRAD!" Hippo yel

Cast Edit

  • Lee Dixon
  • KING HIPPO
  • Steven Moffat
  • Arnold Scorchanigger
  • Pee Wee
  • Santiago Cirilo
  • Jazzed and Jane
  • Riwee Hewiago
  • Shrek

Deaths Edit

  • Arnold Scorchanigger
  • Pee Wee
  • Santiago Cirilo
  • Jane and Jazzed
  • Riwee Hewiago

Trivia Edit

  • baneposting is FUNNY
  • I hate this story because it's full of inside jokes and inside jokes are BAD
  • chakalakalakalaka boom boom
  • get noscoped
  • My name is Bob… Stooki.

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