Chapter 1: I’ve Got a KFC Bone to Pick with you
I am what you could be considered to be “a hood nigga.” My friend T-shawn and i are good niggas and we go to kfc together. We were in kfc juan day and then we see a zombie and kill it with chicken leg stabbed through its nose. it is ded now. f “Damn white boy stealing our culture,” T-shawn says, angrily. He grabs his mashed potatoes and runs out the door towards the projects. We hid like a black man dodging child support for a few days until we think it is safe to go back outside. We now go outside and we see 10 zombies so we kill them all with our leftover chicken bones from kfc a few days back.
“Nigga, we gotta go to P-Daddy’s.”
“WHAT?” I say, rubbing my thighs in my purple jumpsuit that Grandma Tysusie gave me.
“He have the weapons, food, weed, all the good shit.” T-shawn says.
“Bitches...Basketball…” I say, agreeing with him.
“You’re too obsessed with the bitches and balls. How can dey save you?” T-shawn says.
“Because u fuck my boyfriend Sione” Tywelfare says.
Tshawn begins to cry and apoligizes for his past actions. Tyniglet forgives him and they begin to set off to the almighty P-Daddy’s.
Knocking on the door, I can hear the niggaty music playin’, and the bitches screaming in delight. But to the east, I can hear the undead fucks coming for the KFC now in my nigga belly.
A skinny nigga come to the door.
“TSHAWN, MY NIGGA! COME EEN, COME EEN! DON’T GET YO BLACK ASS EATIN’ HA HA!” The nigga dooropener says, obnoxiously. God, niggers are annoying.
You readers are probably wondering who that is. It’s Chief Keef. No one can even understand what he is saying. There is one man though. One man who can translate him. His name is DARKSHADOW667.
We then head inside where from the first sniff, we can get high off of all the fumes we have inhaled. As we are baked, we begin to eat chicken and watermelon and koolaid and my name is Sean William Peters. I was born in October 22 1997, I live in Australia, My Dad's name is Craig and My Mom's name is Kerri and My Sister's name is Ashleigh, I have Autism Aspergers and Bipolar Disorder, I've had the Chicken Pox. the Virus, the Flu and the Cold, my Dad had Cancer, My Mom has Grave's Disease, I am Home Schooled, i'm a huge fan of the Walking Dead. i ask a lot of questions. my favourite characters are Rick Grimes and Tyreese and Shane and The Governor/Brian Blake and Abraham Ford and Hershel Greene and Billy Greene and Caesar Ramon Martinez and Negan and Dwight and Carl Grimes and Andrea and Michonne and Glenn and Allen and Nicholas and Morgan Jones and Gabriel "Gabe" Harris and Bruce Allan Cooper and Axel and Ezekiel and Jim and Lori Grimes and Carol and Maggie Greene and Holly and Patricia and Dexter and Eugene Porter and Alice Warren and Amber and Sherry and Pete Anderson and Jessie Anderson and Tara and Paul Monroe and Kal and Gregory and Arnold Greene and Shawn Greene and Rosita Espinosa and Donna and Gabriel Stokes and Richard and Shiva and Aaron and Eric and Heath and Douglas Monroe and Scott and Bruce and Tobin and Connor and Samuel and Harlan Carson and Brianna and Olivia and Dr. Stevens and Philip Blake and Eduardo and Denise Cloyd and Regina Monroe and Lilly Caul and Bob Stookey and Amy and Dale and Otis and Lacey Greene and Susie Greene and Andrew and Mike and Terry and Sophia and Eugene Cooney and Harold Abernathy and Duane Jones and Earl Sutton, I hate Chris Julie's Boyfriend.
“Haha, T-shawn, maaaaaaniggguh!” A large black man says, entering the room, both hands on some plump, beautiful ass. I recognized that ass anywhere, it was my nigga T-shawn. He got stolen by another nig even though he was sitting right next to me a few seconds ago. I would have done something about him getting anally raped, but something about my black nature had me and 13 others in the room sitting there watching as that big black guy tore his ass apart. I dont know why but it is in a black mans nature to watch one of the niggers rape another person. No one knows why. Maybe we should ask Caulking or Dark some time?
That night, I be lying on a pile of good ol’ FRY CHEEKIE!, thinking about how good this day’s been. Then, I heard moaning outside the house. Someone getting fucked? Nah, I knew it wasn’t true. END OF DAYS, MANIGGA. END. OF. DAYS.
The niggahouse started to rattle, I used my big niggercock to beat all the bitches outta my way to look out da window. The zombies were hitting on the house. “OH FUCK” I say, before pulling my tracksuit outta a bitch’s bitch asshole which was bitchy, and I pulled it on, went to the closet, found a spiky basketball and went to the basement.
I saw my nigga T-shawn getting fucked michonne rape style in the basement by a bunch of thick looking black men. I shot a few of them and released T-shawn. We gotta get out of here nigga I say. They begin to fire at us and we run out of the garage. On the way out T-shawn is shot in the leg and tells me I must go on. “Go on my nigga, tell momma i love her….” He is silence by a shot to the head. Noo, i run away. I have not seen T-shawn to this day. He then is still alive and shoots at the bad guys. He tells me to go on. I must live. I must do it for T-shawn.
Chapter 2: A Nigga’s Promise
ELEVEN MONTHS LATER
It’s been so long since P-Daddy’s. It’s been so long since I last seen my nigga T-shawn. I’ve been on the road for so long. But I keep lookin’, regretting leaving my friend. I’m currently in the city. Flint, Michigan is the city. I have been wandering for a good full moon now and my stomach is craving chicken. I must be hallucinating, I see a zombie in the shape of a kfc bucket and i go to grab it. The zombie almost kills me but then some kid who looks as if he could be a HOOK-er ;) jumps down and kills him and runs away. I shout for him “Hey lil niga, get back here. I got some ganja to give you”. I never saw the boy again.
Walking down the street, I hear the screams of poor white niggas gettin’ bit into by the zombies. I want to help them, but I can’t stop my journey for lookin’ for T-shawn. All of a sudden i see a chicken leg flying and since i am a nigga, i caught it in my mouth.
“Good dog.” I hear some man wearing black clothes, as a cage traps over him.
I didn’t care about the cage, my kind are used to being in cages, where we belong. But when I bit into the KFC...it was fake.
What I did next, will always make me happy, but he faked KFC.
“FFFFFFFFFFFFFFAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKEEEEEE KKKKFFFFFCCCC??????,” I say bursting through the cage, grabbing his throat.
“NO PLEEASE NIGGER! I GOTTA FAMLEE!” He says.
I realized that it began pouring down rain, I laughed to myself and looked him dead in the eyes.
Four minutes later, I had his arms and legs spread out, tied to different car doors and I dove into his anus. Listening to him scream made me cum.
“FOR T-SHAWN! GRUNT GRUNT GRUNT,” I say thrusting once again, tearing through the side of his anus. I felt the pleasure as I ejaculated into his white asshole, cum blending into his white anus. He began to cry for his daddy until I told him I was his daddy. I then began to stroke his hair so he felt pleasured. Upon his pleasurement I felt pleasured and camthewoot 5 times in a row, spilling out like a fizzy mountain dew stuck up somebody’s ass for days.
A big group of walkers had come towards us. I wasn’t about to die, about to abandon T-shawn so I pulled out and slapped that ass and whispered one final insult to him.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!” He screams as the zombies approach him.
I was walking away as i heard his violent screams of his dick being ripped off. I almost died again and this time i was saved by Lee Dixon. Dixon was a local Moffat hater. He hated that nigger so bad and wanted to see the death of him more than anything.
“I’ll take you back to my place,” Mr. Dicksinyourmom says.
“KK(k)” I say.
I finished 5 fortys in like a minute and went to his place. At his place, he has a generator on and all of his favorite shows and movies were playing on various screens across the apartment. On the biggest one, I saw playing was The Amazing Spider-Man 2. I looked away and Lee got super mad at me.
“TASM 2 WAS JUST AS GOOD AS CAPTAIN AMERICA 2,” he screams at me.
“I guess we all have our own opinions.”
“I politely disagree. Am I not allowed to have my own opinions?” he bitches out at me.
“Fuck you,” Lee says before using the severed face of Benedict Cumberbatch to slap me super hard :(. I punch him in the face and take his condoms (which was in a -1 size), and his food. Before I leave, he sits up, blood dripping out of his kilt, laughing. I turn around, and I was afraid, then I was angry.
“I did it,” he says. Silence, then he goes on.
“I started the shootout.”
“Which one?” I question.
“All four,” he answers.
“Because I thought T-shawn deserved it, he was being a twat but I regret it now,” Lee says, smiling like a little faggot.
“Oh, man, oh god, oh man, oh god, oh man..,” I say.
I pull out my spikey basketball, look at it, then Lee, then it, then Lee, then it, then Lee. He gulps, as an ocean of blood escapes his kilt and the color of his face drains away. From this kill, I gain an invincible chest known as Chicken-Bone Chest Immunity.
Chapter 3: The Gain
As I walk away from the scene I hear “somebody help” “right here guys, right here”. “I’m under this thingermaniger. I see the light, it is reflecting off a KFC building. I cry at the sight of how beautiful it is.
I throw a basketball at the window and smash through it, heading over to the KFC. Once I get there I break through the window and can’t believe my eyes. The chicken is untouched. I dive into the giant bucket of KFC and eat it all in a matter of minutes. I am still hungry. I need more.
You, the reader, may be a little confused as to why I am so anxious right now. Well let me put it this way; blackies can sustain their life on three things; fried chicken, bitchez, and shower rape. Only three times has any nigga achieved all three of these. Martin Luther King Jr., Will Smith, and Nelson Mandela being the only nigs doing this, every negro wants to achieve such high power. Now, back to the real story.
I’ve since then left the KFC building, as it’s empty and no longer has anything to keep me there. Once again on the road to finding T-shawn, I decided to take a detour to see what this so called “Nigger’s Paradise” was.
It was a long, narrow dirt path leading into a wooden door which was unlocked, the insides of the building surprisingly dusty. The only thing in the room was a lever about the size of a kid with a hook for a hand. I pull it, and the the wall before me opens up to reveal watermelons and kool-aid.
“Oh shiet! FUUUCK YE MANIGGA!” I scream. It felt good to finally win one, after all this time.
Walking towards it, I see how juicy the kool-aid looks, I grab it and swallow the entire thing in one gulp. “Just like mama taught me.”
“Got you now, bitch,” the man who kidnapped me screams loudly from across the room, firing a missile made of rocks into my stomach, making me crush 2 watermelons.
“THE ONLY FRUIT MY KIND EATS, NOOO!” I holler. “NAH EXCEPT FOR (g)RAPES” He puts a rope around my neck and throws me on a platform directly above a swimming pool.
“If you move, even an inch, you will fall into this pool!” He yells at me.
“YOU ATTACKED ME! I WAS DEFENDING MYSELF!” I scream.
“SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FUCKING NIGGER! YOU TORE MY ANUS INTO TWO! I CAN’T SHIT WITHOUT MAKING A LIQUID SPRAY!” the man screams, pulls out his new anus, which was the size of a trumpet.
I look down at the 5 foot drop into the pool, its scares me. Niggas ain’t meant for swimming. Unless that swimming is in pussy.
I see a vine in the air and jump to it
“See you lata cracka,” I say as I swing into the canopy above.
“Damn it, that ape could be anywhere” he says.
I see the man, his ass more floppy than trevchan2’s chin, I jump into it landing dick first. I rape him as violently as ever, releasing a gush of milk like no other into his asshole.
I run away.
“Don’t look back Corrrral,” I say as I run away from the burning prison.
Chapter 4: Link Carding to Life
I think back to one time when I was at the frozen fried chicken of Aldi’s claiming my link card finances. I was high as fuck that day, just like zombies. I recall looking into the glass door, keeping me away from my life food. I punched through the glass, and took it, but then I dropped it, remembering the shootout at P-Daddy’s.
That was then, and this is now.
I’m back at the Aldi’s, looking at the glass I punched, all the chicken is gone. “FFFUUUUUCKIN’ WHITE BOIS STEALIN’ MY FOOD!” I am on a rampage now. I drive the the school of Tremont and Winnebago, Illinois. I must have killed over 7,000 crackers that day.. Back at Aldi’s, I am punched by a white boy.
It’s the kidnapper. “NIGGA AGAIN?” I yell, loudly
He knocks me out and I wake up with chains stretching each of my limbs out, anally exposed.
“Here we are, Tyny,” he says, his elongated anus tied around his pants like a belt. I suppose you deserve to know who I am and why I do what I do and who I am what to do. I am Jerry Trainor and I capture niggers to set them free in Africa,” he says.
“But now, you must be punished,” he says, wrapping his torn anus around my throat and pulls super hard. He begins to thrust my anal with his 5 incher at a rapid rate of 68 miles per hour. I just cant hold it in anymore, i cum from the feeling of his dick in my asshole.
“Hehehe…,” Jerry says, with an evil smirk, thrusting again, making me gasp.
“Please...stop…,” I say.
He tightens his anus around my throat, making me unable to breath. I use something my kind has, something we can only use once, but something so powerful, we can overcome anything, except the American Legal System.
I go full nigger.
I tear his anus by thrashing my now broadened shoulders, turning around and punching his stomach.
“H….how?” he asks.
“Niggers have this lil pouch in they stomach, when they want to, they can break the pouch, releasin a buncho steroids in they system and they go supa sayIAN,” I say, walking towards him
“NO, LEAVE ME ALONE YOU PRIMEAPE!” he shouts, running away.
I get my purple jumpsuit on, start smokin’ a joint and start bouncing my spiky basketball out of the place he took me to. I run out of the building and hop into my cadillac where I head back to aldi’s, I am hungry and need some cheap chicken.
Upon arival, i feast myself with the chicken. I am replenished now. For I am, the Dominant Ape.
Chapter Five: A Black’s Desire
I had began to forget about T-shawn. I felt ashamed, I felt dirty. I felt...well, black. After defeating Jerry Trainor, I felt a little empty. I had no reason to live. Then one day, while masturbating, I remembered-T-SHAWN, MY NIEGAR! I came on the walls, pulled up my pants and went out on the search once again. I went back to P-Daddy’s apartment to negotiate a deal with him when all of a sudden i was attacked by one of his henchmen. “EYE GOTCHA NIGUANA” he says. “Where is tshawn” i say. “NONE OF YOU CRACKA ASS BEESWAX” i think about releasing my pouch but i remember i had already used it on that faggot jerry trainor.
Coming to the door was a war-torn P-Daddy, no longer with the luscious pieces of ass by his sides, and a scar running across his cheek. “Tyhug?”
As we nigger hug, I feel tears erupt from my face as they run down to my monkey lips.
Im sorry mang, i neva shuld have tried to kill you, u was my nig. But unfortunately, t-shawn’s corpse was never recovered from the scene. “Dat nigga must have escaped den” i say.
“we got some1 we fink u finna like” pdad say
They lead me to the back of the house, into a darkened room where a man was tied to a chair. The man was a god to blacks. The man was…
KERNAL SANDERS. (And Adam Sandler)
“y u keep des men hostage?” i sayd
“We gonna rap dem in da booteh” they say as they dive into adam sandler. I hear the faint sound of adam sandler talking like he has some form of autism.
“NO!” I say, shootin’ P-DaddIEZ right hand nigga.
“wot da fock” Pniegar asks
I rescue Sanders and keep my gun pointed at them. “Keep the autistic faggot, not even a real human being.” I take myself and the king of KFC out of the apartment. I now have a way of getting KFC, and I might use this to attract nigger T-shawn.